Sunday, 3 October 2010
messy desk, messy mind
I've been planning a spring clean for a few days but last night it all came to a head. I was contemplating how much money I might have after sale of house. Then I thought of debts I owe. I have some idea of solicitor's fees but at several hundred dollars an hour, they are not yet finished. Agent's commission, conveyancing fees, then stamp duty on a new place and more conveyancing fees and... I'd been looking at stuff around here and it's very expensive.
I found a more than reasonable place in the Blue Mountains and the meltdown started. It was in the place I had many happy holidays as a child. Mum and Dad bought that holiday place from the children of the people who had built it about 1900. A gorgeous little weatherboard house. Then they bought the land next door and built their retirement place. I remembered running in the bush, no worries at all from my parents. We climbed trees, built cubby houses, had picnics. I wanted my grandchildren to have a place for that sort of stuff. The place I looked at was comfortable, newish, well set up and best of all, not much money compared to the city.
I had a restless night, knowing that there were people and places in the city that I wanted to be close to, certainly closer than 90 minutes travel from. I know my meltdown was nostalgia fuelled and that the family would support me. I also know that when Mum lived by herself up there, that even I often found it difficult to fit in a visit.
I've changed the position of the computer, the box under corner of the desk is the bass speaker from a small set of speakers I bought some months ago. I've sorted and filed papers. Some went in the cardboard recycle box under the desk, some in the filing box next to it. I can now easily reach my backup external hard disk. That's it with the red light to the right of the screen. It backs up entire computer setup, settings and files several times a day. All automatic. A pile of old magazine and scribble notes went out to recycle. The rings from coffee cups and my water container have been cleaned.
I still need to vacuum but the black stains on carpet are stains. This place was rented for several years before my son bought it. There are plans for new stuff but not yet.
Hopefully I've also cleaned out some junk from the recesses of my mind.